November 2025 Clinical Supervision Topic: Cultural and Identity Adaptation

Hello all!

I’m so looking forward to our conversations this month! Here’s the write-up:

The Not-Knowing Therapist: Building Cultural Humility Through Reflection and Curiosity

There’s a moment every therapist recognizes: a client shares something that sits outside our lived experience—something shaped by culture, faith, identity, or history—and we can feel how important it is, even if we don’t fully understand it. In that moment, the work isn’t to analyze or fix. It’s to stay curious (a lifelong endeavor, I know).

A multicultural orientation (MCO) to therapy is really about that stance. It isn’t a checkbox or a training to complete. It’s a way of being that keeps us open, responsive, and humble. It rests on three lifelong practices: cultural humility, cultural opportunities, and cultural comfort. We’ll get more into these three practices in our sessions.

A few more thoughts though…

Staying Curious

A not-knowing stance means remembering that our clients are the experts on their own lives. It’s letting go of the need to get it right and choosing to learn instead. Instead of saying, “I know what that’s like,” we might say, “Can you tell me more about what that means for you?”.

That simple shift changes everything. Curiosity becomes connection! It tells our clients, You don’t have to translate yourself for me. I’m here to listen, not define.

Reflecting Cultural Values

Curiosity turns into empathy when we reflect what we hear about a client’s cultural world. A client might say, “In my family, therapy is for weak people. We’re supposed to pray instead.” A reflective, culturally aware response could sound like:

“It sounds like faith and strength are really important values in your family. You’re trying to honor those while also finding a way to care for yourself.”

This kind of reflection communicates understanding without judgment. It keeps the conversation open and helps clients feel seen inside their own cultural frame, rather than ours.

Practicing Until It’s Natural

Most of us know these principles, but knowing isn’t the same as being able to do them when the room gets tense or uncertain. That’s where deliberate practice comes in. It’s about rehearsal, feedback, and repetition…trying these skills over and over until they become part of how we move. We practice so that when we’re under pressure, curiosity and humility are what naturally rise to the surface.

Becoming Ourselves

Both deliberate practice and multicultural orientation remind us that our goal isn’t perfection, it’s presence. When we practice not-knowing and reflecting cultural values, we get to bring more of our real selves into the room. We become therapists who can hold difference and complexity without needing to control it.

Miles Davis said, “You have to play a long time to be able to play like yourself.” The same is true for therapy. The more we practice humility and reflection, the more naturally we can meet our clients where they are, with steadiness, openness, and care.

I’m currently in the middle of watching this video…feel free to watch it too if you’re interested!